My Story part 2

How did you like my story so far? I got a couple of comments, that's fun for me, I think I've told you that before though. lol Man is it ever a windy stormy night! I hope the power doesn't go out, I have a whole bunch of pretty smelling partylite candles going just in case, I hate it when the power goes out at night and you are not prepared.

So I left off yesterday with me and "Jake" and that ending when I started dating Dale. I told you that we hung out all the time, we would sit on the couch and hold hands even sometimes, crazy that we never got together but I guess since he was not all that sure, indicated by the fact that he didn't want other girls seeing us together it's no wonder lol. I suppose that was the sign that "He's just not that into you" One time in the summer before I started dating Dale, me and "Jake" were at Mount Baker, just hanging out and looking around and we came upon some rapids, it was beautiful; I thought to myself: "lets do a test here" and I said "I bet if I fell in there and died you wouldn't be upset, you wouldn't even cry at my funeral" What a dumb thing to say! lol he was standing behind me and put his arms around me and put his head on my shoulder and said "Yes I would, I would be very upset" I was quite thrilled with this, the fact that he was holding me and all, I had that giddy feeling in my stomach. Here is my internal dialog: "OH MY GOODNESS! HE'S HOLDING ME! THIS IS WHAT BOYFRIENDS AND GIRLFRIENDS DO!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" lol Yea, I know what you are thinking, crazy right? My friends that we were there with were even saying to me quietly that they thought he liked me and we were all giggling about it lol. Do you remember that "M & B"? Nothing happened from that event, things went on like normal, we kept doing stuff together and I was rather disappointed. Then came September when we went to young adults and I met Dale and we started dating.

After Dale and I got engaged "Jake" came over to my house and was in our back porch and he was bawling his eyes out to my parents cause he was so upset that I was engaged, I didn't understand, "I thought we were just friends?" "I thought you wanted nothing to do with me that way?" "I liked you and you didn't respond?" I will never forget his face that day, I felt so bad for him but also was quite confused about it. "Why?" I still don't understand why, do you? After a while I asked him to be an usher at our wedding, I would have asked him to be my "man of honor" but thought that people would think that was strange.

About 4 weeks before our wedding he calls me and asks me to meet him for coffee, I was excited, I thought maybe he's come to terms with it and wants to be friends again. I don't know why but I took Dale with me and then he waited for me in the car while I went in to have coffee. Here is the conversation: he says after the hey how are ya's and all that "I want you to marry me, you can keep your dress and everything and use it at our wedding but marry me" I was shocked, how is this happening to me???!!!! I didn't know what to say, I was so thrown for a loop. After I went out to the car to Dale and he asked me "What did he want?" "Uhhhh...........hhmmmmm........yea.......well........he asked me to marry him" Dale flipped, he was so mad that "Jake" was trying to steal me out from under him so to speak.

I didn't know what to think, I was so torn because on one hand I had my best friend whom I had liked on and off for years and on the other I had Dale, I loved him, he loved me, we had answers to prayer that helped us to decide to get married, we've only been together for 9 months, "Jake" and I had been friends for several years. What a problem this had created for me, I thought I was sure about Dale, this had me wondering if I missed something in God's plan for me, was "Jake" the one and I missed it somehow?

The next day I went to work, I worked at Wendy's at the time, my mind still swirling, I hadn't given him an answer and I didn't know what to say yet. Meanwhile back at home a guy comes to the house with a big bouquet of beautiful roses for me, my mom, thinking they were from Dale sent the guy to my work. He comes in the middle of the lunch rush and gives me the flowers and I thought they were from Dale too, until I opened the card, they were from "Jake" OH MY GOODNESS!!!! All the girls at work were all giggly and thrilled for me that Dale had sent me flowers to my work, "How romantic!" Oh man, I could hardly keep myself together, I didn't say anything to the girls, I just took the flowers to the back and gathered myself together and went back to work.

This decision plagued me until my wedding day, as my Dad is driving me to the church he's giving me the "Are you sure you are doing the right thing and marriage is forever talk" I was so torn up, I didn't know what to do, on the way to the church!!! Can you believe that?! On the way there I decided two things: (1) Dale and I had prayed very specifically about whether or not we should get married and had very specific answers to those prayers (this I will tell you more about another time) and (2) I can't cancel or postpone the wedding now because all of our family and friends are there and I can't disappoint them, and it would be so embarrassing. #2 is the most crazy reason to get married, but for me that is a huge thing, what people think of me, I didn't want people to be mad at me.

My decision to marry Dale was the best one I could have ever made, there have been times in our marriage that have caused me to doubt it but the answers to prayer that we got were amazing and that has always brought me back to trusting my decision. I am so thankful that the Lord gave us these answers because without them I can see now that I might not have been able to stick out the hard times.