So I have been a little out of the loop for a while, I saw that my last post was on the 7th of Feb, here it's the 24th! Oh well I have a good excuse, I have not been doing too well lately. It started in the middle of January and I'm still fighting with it, I am supposed to be taking it easy, no housework, no lifting anything more than 4lbs, not too much sitting, no exercise etc so that really limits what I can do. I have had to go to an ambulatory care clinic every day for just over 3 weeks now and that has been hard too, just yesterday they said that I can now come every other day so that is awesome and I go see a surgeon on March 3rd so hopefully I will get some answers then, I'm hoping that I will not have to have surgery of course, then I will be really hooped. So this is why I have not been blogging too much, I've been on the couch watching tv and reading, not that this is necessarily a bad thing but when your house is falling apart around you it can get to you. Now I'm not the best house keeper to begin with, I really struggle in that area but this was getting to be a bit much for me. I was home alone with the girls and Dale was on the road so it was just me, no one was coming to help me with the house so I had to do it anyways, so how does one go about cleaning and tidying up when your mind is fine but your body is screaming NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?? Well I just did what I could as I could and tried to make the best of it. When Dale did come home from his trips he would unload and reload the dishwasher and help with meals a bit but that was about it, I did cry to him about how badly the floor needed to be vacuumed and he did do that, so that was good. Dale has a very traditional idea of the men and women roles in the home and so he really hates helping out in this way, this has been quite difficult for me since I got sick because I feel guilty asking him for help.
Though all of this I have seen the Lords hand in our lives, I have an amazing friend who has made sure we've got meals, several others have given us meals too and Alexa's school even gave my friend $40 for her to go to M&M's to get us some meals as well as someone from there has been bringing lunch for Alexa for almost 3 weeks now! Amazing! I am so thankful! When you are going through something that is very difficult you will find out who you can rely on in tough times and sometimes it's surprising who it is, God has used my friend and I don't know if she even knows it, she has been an amazing blessing to me and there is no way I could ever repay her for her kindness.
About Me
- Adventures of the Homemaking Mommy
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- I am me, just looking for a place to talk.
3 comments:
You know, I sympathize with you - it's no fun being sick. But on the other hand, if my husband refused to help around the house citing "traditional gender roles" as his reason, he'd be on his ass on the curb with a bill for alimony so fast his head would spin. Feminism and gender equality exist so that a woman doesn't have to be everything to everyone at the expense of herself. I chose a career, and trust me, it ain't that hard - at the end of the day I still have energy to tackle the housework ... but there's no chance in hell that I'd do it alone. You shouldn't have to play the role of single mother and housekeeper and then have to cry to have him make the tiniest of housecleaning gestures. Traditional is one thing, but marriage is a partnership, not indentured servitude. I'm not judging your lifestyle or your marriage, because everyone's partnership is different, but I don't think it's fair to have to be a strong mother to two young girls, battle illness, AND have to fight to get the floors vaccuumed. Even if most of the time traditional gender roles are the norm.
I should probably clarify about this, Dale did not cite his views on the man's and woman's roles in the home as reason not to help, he never said anything about it. I think that it should not be only the woman's responsibility either especially when a woman struggles with it already or if illness is an issue but it is what it is and there isn't too much that I can do about it.
what to say, but I feel for you, this is not easy...to be alone alot and to keep up the house when you are ill. But reach deep into your heart, keep your chin held high and know that it is ok to ask for help when you are in need, and clearly you are! Your friends and family as well as the school are there for your support, and I will always be there as a friend, as a shoulder or a helper! Yes GOD is GREAT and He will always make sure you and your family will be provided for...He works in amazing ways...and thank you for being so grateful! xo
I hope with Dale home more, he will be more supportive, marriage is hard, life is a journey and both partners need to be onboard through the thick and the thin, just like he vowed in front of God on his wedding day....through good times and bad, though sickness and health till death do you part....always...no matter what, we have to try in a marriage, it doesn't just WORK we have to MAKE IT UNITED...and it is about loyalty and encouragement and support~and I wish you two the best!
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